Is Your School on Brand?

I am writing this short article with your son or daughter in mind. Send them the link, print it out, and leave it out where they might just find it and maybe even read it. I have drawn heavily on my own children's comments and opinions about going off to boarding school.

To you who are thinking about boarding school

You may think it is a waste of time even thinking about going away to boarding school. Your parents seem to like the idea. But you are not so sure. I suggest that you start with these reasons why boarding school may be a more viable option than you ever thought it could be.

There is a boarding school for you.

Boarding schools are not like other schools. You get to pick and choose the school you want to attend. Yes, you'll have to make new friends. They will be brand new friends who will accept you just as you are. Right now. You see, boarding schools don't have cliques like you will find in public schools. You don't have to worry about being accepted socially. Once the school admits you, you are accepted socially. That's just the way a boarding school community works. Tolerance and diversity rule. Everybody pretty much dresses the same in boarding school, so nobody is going to tease you about what you are wearing. Bullying? Bullying will get you in major trouble, probably even expelled.

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We parents are always full of questions about boarding schools. We are aware of residential schools, but we are not familiar with how they operate. We also want to learn how to apply to boarding school and whether we are eligible for financial aid.

Here, then, are my thoughts on some of the more common questions I receive.

Should I read my child's admissions essay?

Like a good attorney would answer, "It depends." I am a firm believer in not writing your child's admissions essay. Reading it is another matter. By the way, the admissions essay is the exercise that appears as part of the application. Typically, you will see instructions requiring the candidate to write answers in her hand. The essay must also be her original work.

Madeira's essay form gives you a good idea of what is required.

Take time to explain to your child that what she writes and how she presents her ideas make a powerful impression on the school's admissions staff. Unlike a test or examination, there are no time limits when she writes her essay. She can even do a rough draft if she likes and then make a fair copy, as the English say. That way, the content not only represents her best effort, but the presentation shows her at her best. She wouldn't turn up for the interview wearing grungy clothes, would she? Therefore, she shouldn't submit

There is, of course, no such school as St. Grottlesex. The name is a conflation of the names of five prestigious private schools, four of which are affiliated with the Episcopal Church. Middlesex is non-denominational. While these schools were founded more than 100 years ago, they have all moved with the times. Generous financial aid and a commitment to diversity are hallmarks of the 21st-century release of St. Grottlesex. First-rate academics, superb athletic facilities and programs, and an abundance of extracurricular activities complete the picture.

St. Paul's School, Concord, New Hampshire

"St. Paul's School is committed to educating the whole person and preparing students to make contributions to a changing and challenging world. The philosophy of St. Paul's School defines education as all of the structured experiences in which students participate: course work, athletics, activities, and our life together as a fully residential school. These opportunities involve valuable interaction between faculty, students, and staff."

Founded: 1856

Religious Affiliation: Episcopal

Head of School: Michael Hirschfeld

Endowment: $433 million

Grades: 9-12

School Type: Coed

Number of Students: 536

Number of AP Courses: 12

Percentage of Students of Color: 39%

St. Mark's School, Southborough, Massachusetts

"St. Mark's School educates young people for lives of leadership and service. Founded in 1865 as an intentionally small residential community, the School challenges its students to develop their particular analytic and creative capabilities by both inspiring their academic and spiritual curiosity and kindling their passion for discovery. We value cooperation over

As your child enters middle school, you will probably begin to think more seriously about her high school and college plans. With that in mind, let's look at some of the challenges parents face. The whole subject is daunting, confusing, and even intimidating. However, if you approach the project just like you do any other major project/decision, you will be able to stay out front. Playing catch-up is never fun, so let's start planning early to understand what is involved.

Getting your child to buy into the idea

The first challenge is a basic one: you must get your child to buy into the idea of going away to school. Yes, you are her parent, and you can decide yourself. Unfortunately, this decision will do more harm than good unilaterally. The trick is to get her to think that going away to school is her idea.

How do you accomplish that? By starting early. Begin shaping her decision at least 3 to 4 years beforehand. If a family member currently attends boarding school, schedule a visit to see that relative while he is in school. The more comfortable your child feels with the idea of going off to boarding school, the happier she will be.

As she progresses through grades 7 and 8, she begins to discuss the academic game plan for high school and beyond. Sometimes, special considerations will make your decision process more manageable. For example, if your child displays a natural talent for a sport