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Why We Chose Boarding Rather than Day School

Deciding whether to send your child to boarding school instead of day school is a decision most of us parents make early on in the private school search process. Here is our story. I taught in day schools and was a deputy director of one of them. Nancy and I choose to send both daughters to boarding schools for the reasons I discuss below. I hope that our experience will help to inform you as you make this critical decision about which kind of private school will be best for your child.

At the time, we were considering sending our children to private schools, and we were fortunate to live in an area with good schools. My late wife, Nancy, indeed graduated from the local high school. In fact, she was chair of the local school board when we decided to explore other options for our daughters' schooling. So it wasn't the schools per se which were the issue. Four factors shaped our decision.

The high school curriculum was solid. The teachers were experienced and competent. The school was small as high schools go, with a student population of 400 students in grades 7 through 12. There were football and basketball teams, a highly-acclaimed marching band and a couple of clubs. That, however, was what made us want more for our daughters. We wanted them to read five Shakespeare plays a year. Not just the one play a year

Part of the fun of parenting is that there is no owner's manual issued when your child is born. You and I buy cars, televisions, and computers with reams of documentation. But nothing came with your daughter or mine. You had to rely on your instincts, judgment, and common sense in order to raise her to become the young adult who now is poised to head off on a great adventure, namely, going off to boarding school.

Your daughter is unique. So are boarding schools. While no two schools are alike, they all share a common aim: to educate your daughter academically, spiritually, and athletically. They strive to build on the solid foundation which you have so lovingly laid over these past fourteen or fifteen years. Now it is time to let her go and advance and grow in this next important stage of her maturation.

Still, all of us parents approach the process of finding the right school with more than a little trepidation. Questions keep popping up. Some questions even nag a bit.

"How do I know which boarding school is the best one for her?"

"How can I compare schools that all seem so wonderful yet are so different?"

"How do I know that she will be prepared properly for college work?"

"Will the school see the potential which I see in my daughter or will she be just another child occupying a place?"

Take a deep

Many parents feel they know a boarding school because they have spent time on its website. They 'liked' the school's Facebook page and followed it on Instagram. They also watched all the videos the school posted on its YouTube channel. They and their child are convinced that the school is a good fit for them and their requirements. So why bother hopping on a plane, renting a car, booking accommodation, and taking all that time to go and visit the school? You need to visit any school you are considering sending your child to. The school will insist on it because they want to meet you in person whenever possible.

Your educational consultant may have given the schools glowing reports. Your great uncle has always fondly spoken about his years at one of the schools on your shortlist. He has given generously to his alma mater. One of your colleagues in the Boston office has a daughter at another school on your shortlist. She loves her school's equestrian program. But that's their opinion. You and your child need to set foot on each campus on your shortlist, scope each one out, and use your judgment about whether your child will be happy there for three or four years. Here is a list of things to look for and questions to ask.

Things To Look For and Check Out

The dorm rooms

Given that your child will spend several hours studying in her dorm room, review what can and

Do you realize that there are still nineteen states in which corporal punishment of students is still allowed? Merriam-Webster defines corporal punishment as "punishment that involves hitting someone: physical punishment." Yes, it is legal to discipline students by hitting them in states in the South, the Southwest, and Midwest, including Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and Wyoming. It is legal to paddle students with a wooden paddle; while it was much worse ten or twenty years ago, it is appalling that in the 21st century, the wealthiest nation in the world still has nineteen states that permit a child to be spanked by an adult in a classroom. Corporal punishment has no place in schools.

Fortunately, I know no boarding school anywhere in North America permits hitting students. Period. Technically, New Jersey and Iowa are the only states where corporate punishment is forbidden in private schools. But our boarding schools, indeed our private schools as a whole, are enlightened exemplars of all that is good in education. Our private school Codes of Discipline and Conduct do not allow any form of physical abuse. For all kinds of good reasons. Most importantly, our boarding schools understand what is required to create a better world. In this world, children can mature into productive adults who are competent and confident in achieving whatever their dreams are. Corporal punishment is not part of