For Parents

We took our eldest daughter off to boarding school in 10th grade. That was back in the 80s. While the times were most certainly different from the 21st century, our motivation for making such a major decision would be the same today as it was back then. Let me tell the story that I hope will give you the courage to send your daughter (or son, for that matter) off to boarding school. It's well worth it.

Our Rationale

We were busy parents with careers and two children. The girls were five years apart. One was in junior high. The other was in elementary school. We lived in a little town in northwestern Connecticut. You had to drive ten miles to get to anything. Literally. While the regional high school was doing a good job, the number of academic courses and extras it could provide for our daughter was limited. Not only that, she had to be driven everywhere to participate in sports or extracurricular activities. With those factors looming large, we sat down one day with her and asked: "What do you think about going off to boarding school?" There was a rather enthusiastic acceptance of the idea. Probably because she realized that she would no longer be trapped in her circumstances. She would have a chance to see something different. To experience something new.

Our Boarding School Exploration Process

Looking back, I cannot honestly call it a school search process. There was no Internet to search. You

By Shari Bunks Geller, parent of Blair Academy alumni

I survey my son's room. High school graduation is just two weeks away. College is no longer on the horizon but our next step forward. I am looking to see what he will need to take with him and what he will leave behind. Looking around his room, I am keenly aware of how our world has expanded more than we could have imagined just four years ago when we applied Michael to high school. Boarding school was consciously not on our radar when we began our high school search.

At the start of his eighth-grade year, our son said he would like to apply to boarding school. My husband and I seriously discussed boarding school as an option. We both attended good public schools growing up. We had decided against our public high school as an option for our four children and were committed to sending them to an independent day school. While neither my husband nor I came from families with a boarding school culture, we had many friends whose children attended boarding schools across the country. We have frequently cautioned that once a child visits a boarding school, all-day schools will pale in comparison. The facilities, the campus, and the notion of a different level of independence are alluring to a fourteen-year-old. Although our conversation was serious, we quickly agreed that we would not consider boarding school.

We investigated our local day schools. We toured,

What If Things Go Wrong?

You are thinking about boarding school. But you've heard that the work is tough. Furthermore, they will expel you in a heartbeat if you are caught doing anything seriously wrong. Is this true? Is that the way boarding schools work? Let's look at the facts.

1. The academic work is difficult.

There's no escaping the truth about academics in private schools. Academics are the reason a private school exists in the first place. The academic standards are high. There is a lot of homework. There are a lot of subjects and a lot of ground to cover in every class. Sometimes, the lessons are hard to understand. Just remember, whenever you feel discouraged that you were admitted to the school because you thought you could do the academic work involved. The school-based its decision on your academic transcripts and admissions test scores.

MJ The Student Actuary offers some study tips for complex subjects.

The difference between taking on challenging work in a boarding school versus a public school is simply that nobody in the boarding school will let you sink. Why? Well, for one, the classes are small. For example, your teacher will know you have problems grasping a math concept. You will not be humiliated in front of your peers. If you don't believe me, read the codes of conduct for any boarding school and see just how seriously

We parents always worry about what goes on when we are not around to supervise our children. We all know that getting into mischief is part of growing up. Inevitably, it is going to happen. But we also want to know that there are well-known limits and accepted standards of behavior especially when we send our children off to boarding school. With that premise in mind, you and I are going to take a look at an issue that was much more commonplace years ago than it is now.

The following video outlines what hazing involves.

Hazing is a practice that used to be rampant in schools and organizations just about everywhere. It seemed to be part of our fraternal and educational culture. Fortunately, in these enlightened times in which blogging and instant messaging make it extremely difficult to keep bad news out of the public eye, hazing has all but disappeared in boarding schools. And that is a positive turn of events.

I asked Dr. Hank Nuwer, a nationally recognized authority on hazing, to weigh in on the subject. As Dr. Nuwer makes clear, boarding schools are indeed virtually free of hazing. That's because boarding schools insist on a high standard of supervision and community life designed to protect their students from any kind of harm. Most schools have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to hazing. It is one